It comes as no surprize that I'm not working as fast as I'd like. Other things, kids, work, life -- all seem to get in the way of my good intentions. Sometimes I think I should just duct tape myself to the chair and force myself to write.
All these good ideas start flowing when I'm away from the computer and when no pen or paper is handy. I force myself to remember and work out plot points and dialogue, but somehow when the instruments of my task are placed in front of me, still I draw a blank.
Someone told me that I'm not afraid of failure, I'm afraid of success. I rather think it's far less complicated. Writing is work and for me it isn't paying work. I feel guilty about taking the time to write and to get it right. Posting on a blog isn't the same. No need for complete concentration with no distractions.
Plus, I think I am afraid of failure. Revealing the inner workings of your mind isn't easy and I wonder that so many people are so comfortable doing it. In the back of my mind I'm always thinking that no one will be interested in what I have to say and that there will always be people ready and willing to pick it apart. When you write, it is part of you and you want people to like it (or at least not ridicule).
I've reorganized the story and am progressing. It's hard to commit to finishing this, but I'm trying. Over at Nano, thousands of people are doing just that -- committing and finishing. It seems so simple when you think of it. Beginning , middle, end.
Argh! If only. Who was it who said: "I hate writing, but I love having written." I can hardly wait to feel that way.