Saturday, March 17, 2007

Not even afraid of jinxing it

Don't ask me how it happened; I don't know.

But I'm writing again.

Not just thinking about writing. Not simply plotting. Not only brainstorming --- actually fingers-to-the- keyboard "gettin' it done" kind of writing.

The story is one of the several that have been dancing in my head these few years. Only, I'd always, as with others, had serious plot problems and character weaknesses -- lack of motivation, difficulty with POV etc. Whatever happened this week, most of the issues have been resolved. Those that haven't, well, they can be dealt with on the next draft.

While I don't see myself speeding through this like lightning, I figure when I am able to sit, I go about six to eight pages per day. If I expect that every second day (because the odds of getting near the computer more than that are too low to consider) then June is my target for the first draft.

I can deal with that because it seems almost . . . tangible.

All I need now is to turn of the stupid 'edit-as-I-go' mode that so often infiltrates my brain.

Happy St. Paddy's!

Friday, March 09, 2007

Reading rather than writing

As though I need any more excuses not to write, I've pulled out a bunch of books that I loved and I've started reading. The thought was that they would inspire me. The thought was wrong.

Sometimes I look at what I love to read and I think it seems so easy. You have a story -- you tell it. Then, there are times like now that reading makes me see the futility of my own aspirations. These people, these writers, they have so much more to offer than I have. They have lives that are interesting, educations that have informed them.

Where do they get their certainty?

It seems stupid, but I keep waiting for something to happen that will kick-start my 'ability' to write. When I'm away from the computer, all these ideas and scenes come. Then, I sit down and it's like I'm afraid to even open the word processor. Truly -- afraid -- like actual panic. That's just insane.

When I reread some of the stuff I've written in the past, it's good, but it's like someone else wrote it. I can't even remember doing it except in some vague way.

Maybe I've let it go too long. Maybe writing is not my destiny.